I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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