I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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