Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
