Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
