my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
