I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
