Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
