did you get engaged???
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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