I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
