Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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