she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
