What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
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No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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