i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
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I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize