What did we do last night that was yellow?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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