Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
