Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
we're chasing vodka with high fives
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
