Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
