no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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