dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
