Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
