You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
