I need help removing her.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
