You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
