It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.