You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
