Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
