This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
