i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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