Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize