Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
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Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
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I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.