girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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