I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
