I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize