I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
