Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
