is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
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Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.