mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive