id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
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I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
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You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.