My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
