he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
