Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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