I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Tell her she can't have a vagina
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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