The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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