You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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