Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm passing your future prison.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
