A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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