why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
