a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
