Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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