I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
