so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
