You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
