how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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