What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
