That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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