I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
