That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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