So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
