I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
