yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
