your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
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The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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