I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
